gods wear hats

I just recently finished taking a course as a rescue diver. In it, I learned techniques for dealing with a panicked diver on the surface and underwater, dealing with unconscious divers, rescue breathing, CPR and many other things I’d never done before.

The instructor pointed out that I kept apologizing every time I did something wrongly. She pointed out that I’d never done it before, and that I was on the course to learn how to do it. This seemed obvious, as soon as she mentioned it, but it got me to thinking about why I was apologizing.

There’s an old saying about not being able to teach an old dog new tricks. People apply this to themselves as they get older as a way to say they can’t learn anything new.

The conclusion I reached is that I was apologizing for being incompetent. I’m used to being good at the things I do: whether it’s professionally or personally, after 31 years on the planet I’ve become reasonably competent at a whole bunch of things. Trying to learn new skills makes me incompetent again, and there’s a fear of failure that goes with that. It’s a lot easier to deal with now that I’ve acknowledged it - this fear is purely a fear of appearing foolish or incompetent.

Next time I’m learning something new, I just need to acknowledge that it’s OK to be incompetent